100 Things Restaurant Patrons Should Never Do – Part 2
Nearly two years ago, ESer LB responded to The New York Times’ 100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do with her own 100 Things Restaurant Patrons Should Never Do — basically a server’s wish list/bill of rights. While we only actually came up with 50 items for the original list, this continues to be one of Endless Simmer’s most popular posts, so we’re pleased to present part 2 of the list, as suggested by ES commenters.
51. Don’t walk back into my kitchen to tell me that you are allergic to something.
52. Don’t tell me how to do something. I don’t care, if you think you should pay AFTER you eat. If I’m telling you to pay BEFORE, just do it.
53. If you use a coupon or get a discount of some sort (use a gift card, etc) make sure you tip on the ORIGINAL bill…seems like another “duh” but you’d be amazed how often people don’t do this.
54. If you have kids, PLEASE keep them under control before/during//after being seated, especially when the restaurant is busy. I can’t tell you the number of times I have zoomed out of the kitchen, arms full of hot food, to almost trip over a 3 year old running around the dining room. THIS IS NOT OK people! and it is dangerous. THINK.
55. Don’t be the person that comes in at 9:50 at a place that closes at 10:00, then two hours later as someone vacuums under your feet, say, “Oh…you’re closed? When?”
56. I’m not picking the garlic out of the pasta sauce. Don’t be any dumber than your genetics already make you be.
57. If you would not want someone to enter your place of employment and act the way that you find yourself acting when you enter a dining establishment, I would suggest you examine your behavior and expectations. If I were to come into your place of employment, and insist that you assist me at the risk of alienating other customers/guests, I suspect that you would find it annoying.
58. Quit making special requests like: substitutions, different cooking methods, adding ingredients etc… We cook a hundred dishes every hour and it really backs us up when 5 people order the same thing but each want something different done for their order.
59. Quite asking for foods to be cooked WELL DONE!!! It’s going to take a lot longer for your food to be cooked, it will taste and feel like chewing meat flavored sawdust, it will have barley any of it’s nutrients left and several hours later your going to shit bricks.
60. MAKE RESERVATIONS!!! Especially when there are more than ten people in your party! Otherwise your going to have to stand there and wait for several tables to open and it throws everyone into a mad frenzy to prepare for you!
61. Don’t be the person who thinks that just because you’re paying some money, you’re a king/queen. You have no right to be a douche. If you’re the type of person who threatens to never come back, guaranteed you are a customer nobody ever wants to see again. You’re not that important, get over it.
62. No calculator needed. Give the server $1 for every $5 you spend, always round up. It’s that easy.
63. It is always appropriate to tip extra if someone has gone above and beyond. Thanks are great, but thanks and a little extra money are better.
64. If you’re returning to a restaurant known for sending a complimentary taste (amuse-bouche) before your meal, don’t presume that they are going to do it every time, and don’t specify what you want for that little free thing. (Yes, there are people who actually ‘order’ their amuse-bouche.)
65. If you are not dining in what is clearly a vegetarian restaurant, then the restaurant is NOT required to provide a vegetarian entree! My restaurant just got a bitchy yelp review because we’re a southern-american comfort-food restaurant and did not have a vegetarian entree. Um, hello?!
66. …And don’t get mad at your server when they politely point you in the direction of salads and veggie side dishes. Read the menu! If there is not a vegetarian entree listed, then there is not a vegetarian entree!! And no, the chef is not required to “just make you something.”
67. Please realize that the cooks only have a specific amount of grill space on which to prepare your food. Just because you ordered something you think is super easy to fix, doesn’t mean there is adequate room on the grill in the kitchen to fix every single item simultaneously.
68. Also, just because your food in rung in before another tables, that does not mean it will come out first. Certain items take more preparation than others. A well done steak will take longer than fried fish.
69. Servers are human, we make mistakes. Sure every once in a blue moon a server may forget to ring something in or ring it incorrectly. If this happens regularly, maybe you should consider trying different retaurant(s). For a good server, these mistakes are few and far between.
70. When a server brings the food, it always irks me when other people at my table leave their drinks, silverware, and napkins (or worse, cellphones and purses!) sitting right in front of them, where a plate should go. It just doesn’t make sense to me–where is our waiter supposed to put your food? In front of ME? Just move your stuff out of the way, guys.
71. Just because you are the customer does not make anything and everything you do OK. It’s your meal but it’s someone else’s business, office, well-being etc… If you do not behave with the respect patience and good nature you would in any other place of business you are rude.
72. Treat you server like a human being. Be polite and courteous whether you’re getting great service or terrible. No question, request, or complaint from a customer is inherently unacceptable so long as it’s delivered kindly.
73. Don’t dine out for the sole purpose of nit-picking and criticizing
74. Don’t yell at your server if you don’t like the rules. If s/he says extra sauce costs 45 cents, then it just does.
75. It seems like almost all of these can be summed up by: Don’t be a douchenozzle.
Mas complaints? Leave your own restaurant patron dos and don’ts in the comments.
Read part one of 100 Things Restaurant Patrons Should Never Do.
(Photo: Scilly Stuff)
Also, would you be more amenable to doing those things if you knew that I tip 20%, tell a manager EVERY time I get a good waiter/waitress, am unfailingly polite, say please for everything, clean my own messes, and even step in to defend staff if someone else is being an ass? Not everyone who wants something done a certain way is a douche about it.
Speak up! I shouldn’t have to say “pardon me?” after everything you say. Don’t ever ask your server to wait for you while you finish a call on your cell phone. If someone is deathly allergic to a food, they should be deathly afraid to eat out. At least know yourself what you can or can’t have. I’m vegetarian and wouldn’t bother going to a steak house. I stick with places like Thai or Chinese something like that where I know I can get more than bread or a salad!
1) I can’t pay my bills on compliments.
If you feel I have done a good job, please tip accordingly. Also, feel free to tell a manager on duty; by speaking to someone about your experience, you actually do your server some good, they often times get a pat on the back which, let’s be honest, just feels good sometimes. It’s nice when people recognize that you actually enjoy your job, and that you’re actually good at your job, and it’s especially nice to hear it from the people who sign your paycheques.
2) Please don’t assume that since I am a server that I am uneducated. It’s demeaning, plain and simple. A lot of the girls I work with have diplomas/degrees/their masters, we CHOOSE to serve because we enjoy it, and the money isn’t terrible.
I think it more like amounts to “Be considerate”. We are quiet, considerate, and good tippers. but I kinda got tired of the constant use of the vulgarism ‘d-bag’ in this article. Seems to give you an attitude.
I am sorry, but I am not a Romney. Maybe 20% is the expected tip but believe me, if you are not friendly or competent you won’t get near that. I have a limited budget and will tip what I can. But if I don’t meet your “expectations” don’t think ill of me. I know that your greedy-ass boss is probably paying you two bucks an hour(because that’s what they do) but I do my best to tip you well. And you will never be stiffed, unless you are the insufferable screw up..and there ARE some of those out there. I am not high maintenance but I do like to be treated like I am important. Because I have a coupon for something free, or because I am not dressed up like a rich robber-baron(your boss) do NOT look down your nose, scowl or otherwise judge me as a non-tipper. Trust me, I know your job is difficult as you deal with both ignorant customers and arrogant managers. I have been there…
Please read the menu. When the restaurant is slammed during peak times, we don’t have time to go through all the side options. Please stop ordering things that aren’t on the menu. You’ll know we don’t carry the item if you read the menu! Don’t come to the wait station if you are receiving tableside service. See all those other customers in the dining room? They were there before you and are going to receive service before you no matter how many times you interrupt me in the kitchen! If we are exceptionally busy, it’s not a good time to use the restaurant to socialize your toddler. Order for junior. Don’t make the server stand there while you tell junior to “Tell the lady what you want,” or “What do you say to the lady?” If kids can’t talk to me without coaching, they probably shouldn’t be talking to me.
Do not “help me out” by taking plates and glasses off the tray unless I have looked you in the eye and said, “Yes, you may take the chicken dish off of the tray” otherwise you are going to wear it and chances are, I will laugh at you. It’s better to wait the aditional ten seconds it will take me to place that same tray on the tray jack and hand it out.
Servers are not babysitters, nannies, or house keepers, your kid throws all the sugar packets on the ground PICK THEM UP!
Expect to recieve exactly the same attitude you give
If all of you are on cell phones when I walk up to your table and none of you look up and aknowledge me, DO NOT get attitude when I walk away. I have other tables who need me at that exact moment, you obviously do not
This list is utter rubbish. There are a few that are no brainers, however the rest seems to be bitching for bitching’s sake.
My biggest pet peeve: We seat u places for a reason, if we put u somewhere STAY THERE! Don’t jump to another table halfway through your meal or ask to be moved just because a table u like better just opened up (yea I’ve had it happen several times). This just makes us hate u and gives us now 2 tables to clean up instead of just one.
jesus christ i hate the fact that so many servers think they deserve 20% tip no matter what. I know what it feels like to get a shit tip/no tip but when I served I never EXPECTED to get at least 20% unless I knew I did an awesome job. Percent tip is fucking stupid anyway, servers should just get paid a normal wage and receive optional tip for exemplary service. Just because the dish costs $30 instead of $15 doesn’t mean you should get more money, the price doesn’t make the work any more difficult…
Sorry that I don’t like my meat pink…. damn bitchy.
Ordering by course, annoying, waste of time, and the height of pomposity
Uhrm.. no offence or anything but you complain about tips like its the law. I find it quite rude how you complain that people only tip 10%, and that you require 20% or whatever, very rude. I got quite angry reading that and I think that you are at fault and not the customer there, you shouldn’t expect tips. If you get them, that’s a bonus, it is not obligatory.
I am just a patron & I can agree with some of this list – but a lot of the list just seems like complaints from restaurant staff. They have a right to bitch about their jobs & people they deal with. But don’t publicize a list of complaints telling their clientele how they are supposed to behave, it just says you don’t need the business or the money … And how is this different than any other profession ? There is no one out there without bad customer stories…….
You guys that think tipping is optional are out of your minds!!!! The only reason they allow companies to pay a serving wage( not minimum wage) is because you are supposed to tip. If you don’t tip then it’s like the minimum wage and labor laws mean nothing. Don’t be an asshole. Don’t go out to eat if you can’t tip.
Fuck you cheap bitches that say oh you should be fine with 10%. Oh I can’t afford to tip 20%. If you can’t afford to tip you can’t afford to eat out. It is part of the package mother fucker. Keep your cheap ass at home or go somewhere that doesn’t have servers. Eat a dick.