Ten Worst (Foodie) Things About Being Knocked Up

5. Random Things That People Tell You Are Bad For You But Probably Aren’t

Did you know that you shouldn’t eat nuts when you’re pregnant because it might make you future offspring allergic? No? Probably because that’s something that somebody made up. But these are the kinds of things that come out of the woodwork when folks start to give you unsolicited (and unscientific) advice on your diet.

4. Deli, Smoked and Cured Meats

I have to admit that this one was a complete surprise to me.  Who knew?  Actually, I don’t think that there’s inherently anything wrong with the sliced ham in your deli counter from a nutritional standpoint…I believe it’s more about the higher potential for infection from listeria. Let’s hear it for our country’s fantastic food safety regulations!

3. Good Cheese

You know how you can tell a great cheese because it’s soft, runny, slightly stinky and has gorgeous lines of blue streaking throughout?  Hands off, moms-to-be.  If it’s not pasteurized or if it has anything resembling a live microorganism in it, it’s off limits.  Feel free to go to town on the Velveeta, though, because that shit is perfectly good for you and totally healthy.

2. Raw Shellfish

It’s funny, ladies, but those raw oysters that you might have used to “set the mood” on that night that got you into this situation are strictly verboten at this point.

1. Hot Dogs

Really? This is frigging AMERICA and if a pregnant woman wants to have the most wholesome mystery meat product that this fair land has to offer, who is the medical establishment to tell her “no?”  I’m TVFF and I approve this message.

Next: #10 – 6 Worst (Foodie) Things About Being Knocked Up

 

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14 thoughts on “Ten Worst (Foodie) Things About Being Knocked Up

  1. @tvff this is awesome, and I had no idea, congrats to you both… I’m sure your wife would accuse you of being more than “somewhat responsible”!

  2. @tvff this post is hilarious. Got a link from the Dec Baby group (babycenter.com).. posted by mrs.tvff

  3. congrats@!!! (i would be more worried about the nitrated in the deli foods and the risk of lymphoma in children from the hot dogs)

  4. @Britannia – yeah, TVFF’s favorite joke is to stare at me and say “how’d your belly get so big?!” And I just point to him and say “you! you did this to me!”

    Just practicing my lines for when we’re in labor and I get to shout them at him! :)

  5. I can tell the whole experience is finally getting to you. You are in rare form today. Very funny!

  6. This has made me realize I’m probably going to get fat AFTER I have a child, when I can finally gorge myself on brie and vodka again.

  7. Great post — I know what you’re going through — I’m pregnant, too.

  8. Hi, 2 things: first, do you know if its a boy or girl? considering your wife’s craving for fruit, i’d have to guess girl. supposedly “meat” cravings lean towards a boy in the belly. and secondly, apparently that nut allergy assumption is more prone to mothers who are highly allergic people. if your wife isn’t prone to food allergies (be it milk or wheat or nuts etc) then she can eat nuts without worry…
    Fun list, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on the majority of things you have here after delivering!

  9. @Lindsay: Nope, we’re not finding out whether it’s a boy or girl. Our friends and family are giving their thoughts and the results are about 50-50. Of course, the population of the human race is roughly 50-50, so I don’t know that they’re providing any real insight.

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