Burns My Bacon: An Open Letter to the Salt & Pepper Shaker Filler Upper


You know we always love a good rant here on ES, so it’s time to introduce our newest feature: Grinds My Gears Burns My Bacon.

As much as I love food, there are just so many little thing to complain about. Every time I go to a restaurant, deli, grocery store or coffee shop there is always something that’s just not right. It’s usually a simple thing that can be easily rectified but it persists, probably because no one has ever complained about it before. Not any more, people of ES. I’m not prepared to sit back any longer. This is a time that demands action. So, without further ado, here is your first Burns My Bacon:

You know what Burns My Bacon? Salt & pepper shakers, that’s what.

When I go to shake a little salt and pepper over my dinner I expect some of that spicy and salty goodness to effortlessly flutter over my food. What I don’t expect is for me to have to unscrew the top of the shaker and pour some in my hand to sprinkle on my food. Why do I have to do this, you ask? I’ll tell you. The smart ass who thinks it’s efficient to fill the salt and pepper so far to the top that there is no room to move, that’s why. So, Mister Salt & Pepper filler upper, don’t fill up to the top! It’s not right, it’s not funny and it’s just plain annoying.

(Photo: Svadlifari)

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  • Alex September 18, 2009  

    I appreciate tiny salt and pepper grinders.

  • Nick September 18, 2009  

    Also, the candle in the water thing is so 2005.

    Let’s move on people.

  • BS September 18, 2009  

    You know what pisses me off? When the salt gets so clumpy that you can’t get anything out. Watch your shit, people! Don’t let that old, sweaty salt get all clumpy. Ugh and pizza places can be the worst. Sometimes you can shake that parm for hours and barely a crumb falls out.

  • Melissa September 18, 2009  

    Here’s another:
    butter so ice cold that it is impossible to spread on the bread

  • Brian September 18, 2009  

    While it serves a genuine purpose, I also think keeping rice in the salt shaker is kind of trashy. It really burns my fake-on.

  • JoeHoya September 21, 2009  

    The temperature and consistency of the butter is absolutely one of the measures of the quality of a restaurant…for Elizabeth it’s a total deal-breaker if there’s cold, hard butter (even when we’re being good and passing on the bread altogether).

  • DAG September 21, 2009  

    Having worked in many different restaurants, I can tell you that waitstaff is often asked to “top off” the shakers at the end of the night. Filled shakers look better, even if it is impractical. I’d assume the owners/managers also want to make sure the shakers don’t run empty (though that would probably take weeks to happen).

  • erica September 22, 2009  

    I am so using “that really burns my fake-on”.

  • Rubygirl September 23, 2009  

    I could not agree more..The salt and pepper should not be filled to the top….how many times have I done the same, ……unscrew the salt shaker…uggg……and I agree about the butter too, keep it room temp please….and one more thing. When did the memo go out to not set the table with a spoon….looks like someone forgot how to set the table, plus spoons are very handy! And might as well add one more….don’t put the” customer” copy on top of the credit card payment papers. Nothing is more annoying than to have to do the tip and signature twice after you figure this out.

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