Cheflebrity Smörgåsbord: I Want My HDTV
(Artist’s rendering of what Food Network looks like on my new television.)
I know a lot of people give you a hard time, bit I don’t think you’re so bad. My service is pretty reliable, any problems I’ve had have been addressed quickly and accurately, and it’s cool living in Lawrenceville, New Jersey, where I get both New York and Philly stations (I’m impossible to get off the couch on football Sundays). And I was really excited when I bought a new HD television so that I could start watching those HD signals that you run.
However, while my wife is thrilled to be able to watch Toddlers and Tiaras in stunning high definition, I’ve found the lack of Food Network in HD to be quite disappointing. You see, when they first announced that Food Network would be broadcasting in HD, I dreamed of the day when I would upgrade my unit, experience succulent dishes in amazing clarity and come one step closer to Emeril’s mythic “smell-o-vision.” And yet here I am with my snazzy new set and no HD signal with which to decipher the hidden messages in Guy Fieri’s tattoos.
Look, I know it takes a while to roll this stuff out, but anything you can do to fast-track HD Aida Mollenkamp would be greatly appreciated.
Remember, the smörg always comes to you in the highest possible resolution.
– Padma insists that the odds aren’t stacked against women on Top Chef, but I do find the unusual requirement that all female cheftestants be both barefoot and pregnant to be a bit unfair.
– Here’s an article that includes the words “Jamie Oliver” and “testicles.” Bon appetit!
After the jump…a double dose of awesome news from Paula Deen and Duff Goldman wants to entertain your daughter.
– Speaking of Paula, there’s a chance her cast iron pans may explode and kill you (before her recipe for deep-fried lard balls has a chance to induce cardiac arrest).
– Duff Goldman is endorsing a cake decorating kit for young girls. Roman candle and acerbically witty receptionist sold separately.