Top 10 Food Terms That Sound Dirty But Aren’t


They’re just lemons…get your mind out of the gutter.

It’s no big secret that Endless Simmer is run by people with dirty, filthy minds.  Sure, we appreciate high-brow humor and witty satire, but we’re also more than happy to giggle our heads off at something crude and lewd.

Fortunately, we’re in the right business, because the world of food offers plenty of terms, phrases and techniques which — if you possess the sense of humor of a seventh grader like we do — can sound very, very dirty.   And so we’ve taken it upon ourselves to catalog the top ten food terms that sound dirty but actually aren’t.

10. Tossing Salad

An easy get.

9. Weinerschnitzel

Hehehehehe.  Weiner.

8. Lady Fingers

I bet she does!

7. Shucking

I take personal pride in my ability to shuck.  All it takes is a little coaxing and I can get it to open up in no time.  I’m talking about oysters…what were you thinking?

6. Frosting a Cake

The application of any sugar- or dairy-based substance to a baked good is inherently dirty.  For more evidence of this, see #5.

Next: Top 5 Food Terms That Sound Dirty But Aren’t

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  • Maids August 6, 2009  

    How about jackfruit?
    oh and also
    I picked one filthy sounding phrase in the UK: to say you want a particularly potent cider, say, ” I’m craving some scrumpy.” Scrumpy? that sounds so filthy, I said it constantly.

  • Britannia August 6, 2009  

    Scrumpy Jack, now that’s something I’ve not heard in a long time. And I take pride being from the country that coined Spotted Dick, so yummy.

    Another English favourite: Crumpet!

  • Yvo August 6, 2009  

    Dude, the first time I heard ‘frosted’ used like that was in Zack & Miri Make a Porno. If you saw it, you know to which scene I am referring, and it is both awesome and horrifying…

    Okay, here’s my addition, which may or may not be too far-fetched…
    beat until smooth, about 50 strokes.
    Or put your hand as far into the cavity as you can reach and remove whatever you find… the giblets.

  • Nina August 6, 2009  

    The dirty dish in my house is “beef strokemeoff”. Not for too much longer tho….our three year-old has started asking for it by that name!

  • Jennifer August 6, 2009  

    You left off “spatchcock”.

    It can’t be said around here without a ton of snorting snickers.

  • themusingbouche August 6, 2009  

    What about the good old fish taco?

  • LC August 6, 2009  

    beef cheeks always makes me giggle.

  • Jenni August 6, 2009  

    Speaking of food & potential lewdness:

    At least Ms. Ray is good for a laugh.

  • Mrs. Joe Hoya August 7, 2009  

    what, no kumquat?

  • Noasmom March 12, 2011  

    “beat until stiff” talkin ’bout whipped cream stiff peaks….

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