This one was all you, ES-ers! I had no idea why my Fine Cooking-inspired asparagus pasta strands were such a horrible, ugly, falling-apart mess:

But you guys were all like, duh, just shave your strands off the stalks before you cook them, and it totally worked. I cut off the asparagus tips, then used the vegetable peeler to shave fettuccine-like strands off the stalks, which worked much, much better than trying to shave the steamed asparagus. The first few strips I shaved off were beautiful, pasta-like green strands, although it got harder to shave them as the stalk got smaller, but still, infinitely more successful than the first go-around.

I cooked the fettuccine (OK well, I had used all my fettuccine in the original fuck up, so I subbed linguine) for five minutes, then threw the asparagus strands and tips into the same boiling water and cooked for another five minutes.

How much better does that look? Thank, team ES!