If Life Gives You Matzoh

I’m finally back in DC where the grains are flowing like Cadbury creme eggs.

Holy crap do I love those chocolate ovals of joy. But I didn’t learn to love until college. My roommate, “Rooms” on ES, introduced me to them and every year I eagerly await this gooey, messy and totally fulfilling treat. I’m actually not well versed on Easter goodies because Easter always falls during the 8-day-long holiday (Jesus’ last supper was a sedar. So sad to know that good ole JC’s last tastes were of the dry, bland matzoh. Okay, I’ll bite. I’ll answer the ageless question shared between food lovers: I’d take a steak frites with a fried egg on top for my last meal. Maybe a side of avocado? I’m still working it out. Thoughts?)

But amongst my bashing of all things Passover, I actually was quite pleased with a lunch treat I made for DAD GANSIE and myself. Maztoh brei is a fairly popular Passover meal: softened matzoh and eggs scrambled together. I used to eat it as a kid with tons of Aunt Jemima syrup. I know, it’s total fake crap. But you know what, and don’t make fun of me, I still like it better than *real* mayple syrup; it just tastes too maypley for me.

Last year DAD GANSIE and I made a savory version filled with cream cheese and smoked salmon. And this year I created another version, but with some heat. I based the 2009 edition of matzoh brei on a Bon Appetite recipe. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m usually TERRIBLE about keeping up with my cooking mags and don’t read February’s until July. I’m not even exaggerating. Sometimes I even wait til the next year of that same month. Miraculously, I read April in time to snag their spin on it. But – and say it with me class – I didn’t follow their recipe.

Matzoh Brei with Tomatoes, Spinach and Avocado
Inspiration: Matzo Brie with Tomatoes and Salsa

The Bon App version prepares the brei part as normal and then directs a quick salsa and sour cream to top it. I couldn’t be bothered to pull out the food processor seeing as I was hungover as shit from the previous night’s sedar. The problem was I was given a TINY wine glass and had no real idea how much I was drinking. I therefore refilled the glass after every fifth sip. Passover wine = not fun the next day (or that night, to be honest). I basically took the salsa ingredients and incorporated them into the matzoh/egg mixture. See below.

I let two torn up pieces of matzoh soak in a bit of water and then let them drain while I prepared the rest of the dish. In a bowl I whisked-up four eggs, added in a diced, seeded tomato and when the matzoh stopped dripping, stirred it in with salt and pepper.

In a pan I sauted a small, diced onion, half of a jalapeno and two diced garlic cloves with salt and pepper. When softened, I added in the matzoh/egg mixture. I stirred that a bit and when halfway done I added in two large handfuls of roughly chopped fresh spinach. When the mixture was set and spinach was appropriately wilted, I tossed in minced, fresh parsley, added a bit more jalapeno in there, probably added more salt and pepper, gave it a stir and served it topped with diced avocado.

Now, I’m not advocating matzoh consumption if you don’t believe in Moses parting the sea, but this was seriously delicious if matzoh is what you have to work with for the next few days. Or if you’re just crazy experimental and you do all of the whacked out shit we do here on ES.

In an unrelated note, in case you’re still reading, I got my first Vogue and I read the entire 500 plus pages in one sitting. Call me Carrie.