On the Eighth Day, God Created Seasonings

I really enjoy cooking, but sometimes I just wish I could work a little intolerance and bigotry into my cuisine.

Well, it looks like I’m in luck thanks to a gentleman named Joe Godlewski who just wasn’t a big fan of that Jewish-y sounding “Kosher salt” he saw being used by TV chefs.

You’ve heard of kosher salt? Now there’s a Christian variety…

Retired barber Joe Godlewski says he was inspired by television chefs who repeatedly recommended kosher salt in recipes.

“I said, ‘What the heck’s the matter with Christian salt?'” Godlewski said, sipping a beer in the living room of his home in unincorporated Cresaptown, a western Maryland mountain community.

Sounds charming.  Mr. Godlewski manages to look past the centuries of religious oppression and, as you might expect, doesn’t see a problem with introducing a more Messianic sodium product.

Godlewski said his salt, packaged in containers bearing bright red crosses, has at least as much flavor and beneficial minerals as kosher salt – and it’s for a good cause.

“The fact is, it helps Christians and Christian charities,” he said. “This is about keeping Christianity in front of the public so that it doesn’t die. I want to keep Christianity on the table, in the household, however I can do it.”

Oh, my bad!  Apparently this is not about antisemitism — it’s just a nice way for someone to raise a little cash for some worthy causes.  In fact, if the whole Christian salt thing goes well,Godlewski is thinking about introducing an expanded line of “Christian-branded foods, including rye bread, bagels and pickles.”

Oy vey.

That’s it…I’m holding out for Atheist Fleur de Sel.