Endless Simmer Voter Guide

As some of you may have heard, there’s an election coming up this Tuesday. And while most of you are probably still agonizing about whether to support Obama or Amondson, there are actually quite a few issues beyond the presidential race.

Because ES cares about the little stuff, we’ve scoured the state ballots to let you know about the food and drink issues that may be on your state ballots next week. And because we’re self-righteous a-holes, we’re also telling you how to vote.

– California Prop 2: Would set standards for how farm animals can be confined, ensuring that all animals are given room to lie down, stand up, and extend their limbs. Opponents claim free-range poultry could be more susceptible to catching disease from wild birds, while supporters have this awesome Stevie Wonder-inspired dancing pig video:

Who could say no to that kind of pig strutting? Vote Yes on Prop 2. More ballot endorsements after the jump…

– Oklahoma State Question 743 : Wineries in the state are currently not allowed to sell their wines to restaurants or stores without going through a wholesale distributor. The measure would change this, allowing independent wineries to transport and sell their own wine. Wholesalers, of course, see this as a threat to their business, but independent wineries say it would support local business. ES Says: Doesn’t matter if you’re in Napa Valley or the Okie panhandle, local wine beats big box every time. Vote Yes.

– Also on the ballot in OK is State Question 742, which would enshrine the right to hunt and fish into the state’s constitution. Supporters are worried that future hippies might try to outlaw meat some day We love our steak and bacon here at ES, but there is a small part of us that worries the future hippies might be right and we’ll realize someday that eating flesh really is barbaric. A very small part of us, but god, what if the vegans are right? Let’s not constitution-alize the right to meat just yet. Vote No.

– Voters in Garrett County, Maryland will vote on whether to allow Sunday alcohol sales.  ES says: We don’t live in the United States of Puritans! It’s every American’s right to get wasted on the lord’s day. Vote Yes.

Best Photo Ever: The Waffler