Endless Simmer - A Food Blog

One of the amazing/frustrating thing about getting into food is realizing how many different things there are to be snobby about. Yes, of course you must have your favorite pinot noir, form an opinion on whether putting cheese on seafood is acceptable, and decide if you think using truffle oil is cheating.

But then you realize you also have to know which butter you prefer (a premium one for bread and a basic one for baking, please), which goat cheese is the best, and the difference betwee sea salt and kosher salt.

One thing that I never thought to be snobby about is pasta. It’s so cheap and simple that it just never occurred to me. Sure, I’m aware that eating a freshly-made bowl of linguine while relaxing on a balcony in Naples is preferably to the daily special at the Olive Garden, but when it comes to buying the dried stuff, the toughest thing I ever thought about was whether I felt like wagon wheels or elbows.

Until now.

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While you may think star-commenter JoeHoya (or affectionately, JH) may simply spend all of his blog reading time with ES, you’d be shockingly mistaken. JH actually writes for the *rival* food blog, DC Foodies. And as I never really read other food blogs (unless he/she comments on our posts and leaves a link to their blog) I have neglected JH’s hard work elsewhere. So, here, JH - our official ES tribute to our first and favorite non-friend commenter. (Actually, you know what that stinker first wrote on our blog - he corrected a misspelling of mine…) Anyway, enjoy our GOP foe boy, JoeHoya.

Investigative Reporter [JoeHoya]

Disgruntled Cheese Plate Eater [JoeHoya]

Exhaustive Restaurant Critiquer [JoeHoya]

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My regular Sunday night get together was a little different this past week, as there was a birthday and for birthdays we always try to bake a cake. This week I was responsible for the task and I have to say, I’m no baker. I even messed up cookies out of a box last week. I asked the birthday man boy what his favourite cake was and amongst his list was cheesecake, AND HOW could I pass that up. Everyone knows that if done right it can be sex on a plate, even the gays I made it for! And what better way for me to make this cheesecake than to watch The Golden Girls on my dvr in the process. Yes, this is a very gay post but keep with me…

I figured the gays would like to know the fat and calorie count of the cake. I did some calculations of the ingredients and how many slices I would expect to get from the cake and well, it’s not looking pretty. I decided to tell the gays as they were eating this delight: each slice had roughly 27g fat and 360 calories.

Jaws dropped and I swear there were some people who were about to spit it out and one even looked ready to throw it at me - I’m talking about you 30MinuteAbs. But it was too damn good and they kept eating. You know you’ve struck gold when gays disregard fat count and calories for a sweet sweet slice of cake!

Strawberry Vanilla Chocolate Crust Cheesecake

Ingredients and how-to after the jump.

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Chalk up another win for the blogs over the MSM, as Sushi Day’s steak sushi rolls over Gourmet, 58 percent to 42 percent in last week’s Who Cooked It Better.

For this week’s contest, we’re going with a hot new trend that combines a possibly tired trend with a classic taste to make everything new and creative again. Confused? You’ll understand in a second.

As you know, cupcakes have been quite the ubiquitous presence over the past few years, to the extent where some are declaring them so over already. I liked them better myself in grade school, when they weren’t trendy and didn’t cost nine dollars, but I think we can all agree, overexposed or not, these little devils are delicious.

One thing that is definitely not over is bacon, so it was only a matter of time before bacon collided with cupcakes to create something God is kicking himself for not inventing. Bacon cupcakes are here indeed, and all of a sudden they seem to have taken over the food blogosphere. I browsed through said blogosphere to find the best of the best, and there are no half-assed bacon-topped cupcakes here, each of these three contenders mix actual bacon into their batter to present three tantalizing recipes.

On the left is one of the first known versions of the mythical bacon cupcake. From the Vanilla Garlic blog, this maple bacon cupcake is for “those who eat with no fear,” and it sure lives up to that claim. Diced bacon is mixed into the brown sugar-maple syrup cupcake, which is then topped with a maple syrup-butter frosting and finished off with a sweet and salty kick from turbinado sugar and kosher salt. (Note: This does not make the cupcake kosher in any way). Full recipe here.

Appearing in the middle, No One Puts Cupcake in a Corner throws a chocolate spin on the BC, dreaming up an amazing coffee-buttermilk-dark chocolate-bacon batter. While she doesn’t give us a chocolate frosting recipe, she more than makes up for it by sprinkling bonus bacon (crispy, of course) on top of the cupcake. Full recipe here.

A Good Appetite, on the left, also goes with the dark chocolate theme, whipping up a batch of Hershey’s dark cocoa batter, topped with some dark chocolate frosting and a sprinkling of fleur de sel for that extra salty (and artsy!) touch. Extra points for some creative black and white photography. Full recipe here.

Wow I am hungry after writing all that up. I, for one, will surely be trying one of these recipes soon - so which one?

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Photos: Vanilla Garlic, No One Puts Cupcake in a Corner, and A Good Appetite

Seen an idea for Who Cooked It Better? Think you’ve got the bestest recipe in the world on your own blog? Email info@endlesssimmer.com

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I never go to the grocery store with lists.

I’m sure it would make perfect sense to write out everything I plan to cook in the near future and purchase the necessary ingredients, but it’s just not me. I’d much rather go to the store, wander around, and grab everything that looks new and exciting, supermarket sweep style. While thrilling, this method has its drawbacks, as I often return home only to realize that I have 40 food items and not one complete meal.

This, of course, is how I end up cooking things like duck bacon-zucchini-tomato-pine nut tortellini. But sometimes I get home from the food co-op and realize I’ve bought something that I really have no idea how to work with.

A few weeks ago, I returned with a little baggie of organic lavender flower, a splurge purchase from the spice aisle that I am completely clueless about. When I google it, all I get is info about soap, so I’m really gonna need some help here, ES readers.

What does one cook with lavender? Do I stir it into tea? Is it a baking thing? Could I make some kind of rub for pork? Does it play well with other spices? Is it even a spice? Any input/recipes/crazy ideas would be much appreciated, and I promise to pursue the best idea and report back.

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Like I said in my first Passover post, I wouldn’t be getting any timely recipes to you. And as the holiday ended yesterday I’m just getting you a little something.

Now I have to say, this wasn’t the best thing I’ve ever eaten. But the below video will surely excite you.

The fairly common Matzah Brie (fried matzah) is like our answer to french toast. The matzah is torn in to pieces, soaked in water to soften, then the water is drained out as much as possible. Next, mix the matzah with eggs and milk. A lot of people make this sweet like french toast and add cinnamon and nutmeg and once fried, cover in *kosher for Passover* syrup. But I like my breakfast on the savory side: I seasoned it with salt and freshly ground black pepper and when it was fried, I topped it with cream cheese, raw onion and lox. I based it on this recipe.

The tricky part though, is flipping this creation so the top side is equally cooked and browned.

Check out DAD GANSIE as he flips the shit out of our matzah brie. This is best watched with volume.

Camera Works: gansie

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Through my work with Express, I’ve become a sell-out. I’ll explain. I’m in bed with the PR folks. The PR folks will host a “media dinner” I will then eat for free and in return write a *totally non-biased* review. I swear.

Anyway, at my latest comped meal Angie and I ate our way through a deliciously free meal at Restaurant K by Alison Swope, which I then reviewed.

As you’ll see, we tried the tamales. As Angie is from Texas and has a Honduran mother, she knows her tamales: even knowing the difference between the Tex-Mex and Central American versions. So while she clearly knew what to make of them, I am still sorting my way through the technicalities of the dish. Which made me totally laugh when I saw the following thread during Tom Seitsema’s WaPo chat.

one / tom is sure one hot tamale

Ashburn, Va.: This may sound stupid, but I have never ordered tamales at a restaurant just because I have no idea how to eat them. Do I pick them up, or do I eat with a fork? What do I do with the stuff covering them? (And what IS that? It’s not edible, right?) Do I put sauce on them? Please help end my tamale illiteracy!

Tom Sietsema: Tamales, which involve corn meal dough (typically) wrapped around cheese, vegetables or meat, are bundled in husks, which must be removed before you dig into the steamed filling. I eat tamales with a fork. Sauce is optional.

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Tamales. ..: true story. I’m an adventurous eater. My first time at Red Sage some years ago, I saw tamales on the menu. Having never had them, of course I ordered them. I didn’t know how to eat them so I ate them all. It took me some months before I figured out why the waiter had such a quizzical look on his face when he removed the plate.

Tom Sietsema: Funny!

I’ve admitted in this forum that I, too, ate my first tamale — part of it, anyway — with its husk on. Decades ago, I should add.

gansie: like i said before, i’m not so familiar with the tamale (read the review - i compare the dough to a matzah ball!), although i should be - it’s quite delicious! and i can’t lie, i’ve absolutely tried to eat the husk before.  and one more thing, does anyone know where the phrase “hot tamale” came from?

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I’ve never been a ginormous fan of yuca. I’m not sure why, it just hasn’t come up that much. The only time I really ever see it on menus is as a side at Hispanic restaurants, but there’s usually a choice between that and either plantains or french fries, so I don’t think I’ve ever ordered it. No disrespect to the yuca, but that is some tough competition.

However, last time I was down in D.C. we all went to dinner at Mayorga Cafe, where there were no plantains or french fries at all, and the yuca fries were the only fried starchy goodness to be had. And let me tell you, they sure made me forget about french fries for the evening. Golden-crispy, not too oily, and with just a little more actual taste than spuds, I was hooked.

So even though I had NO idea how to cook with these, I grabbed one on a whim last time I was at the food co-op.

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From Today’s Onion/AV Club (DC):

“Our brewing baby might be a miscarriage, but our friends are overly encouraging,” jokes Guy Anthony, a member of the newly formed D.C. Homebrewers Club. Then again, what friends wouldn’t hold out hope for a quaffable homemade Hefeweizen?

That was the thinking of brothers Mike and Brian Dolan, who created the fledging group earlier this year hoping to attract hip, young District residents who either brew their own beers or are toying with the idea. Following a stint in beer-centric Belgium for two years and a job in a Boston beer store during college, co-founder Brian developed a love for the drink; on his graduation night, the brothers decided that they would take that love to the next level—brewing their own.

While the brothers usually base their brews on a recipe, they also improvise. Smelling their way through an organic market, they picked up “sacred bark,” an herb with a pleasant aroma. They went through the whole process of brewing and bottling, and, as they were enjoying their first round of beers, they thought to Google “sacred bark.” They then immediately threw out all of the bottles, as they discovered their special ingredient was a laxative.

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